sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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