Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
