I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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