she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
