Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
