:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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