ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
