well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
