i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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