You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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