At least make sure they are 18
Why
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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