Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
