I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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