White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
