Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
