Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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