these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
