On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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