Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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