Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
