i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
