it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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