We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
