I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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