worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Everyone says I win the strip club
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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