Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
