grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
