i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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