Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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