I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
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