New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You were trust falling into bushes
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
