I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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