Your face is a jimmy john
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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