You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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