Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
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