I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
