Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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