if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
