So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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