im gay
i know
yea but for you.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Semen is not good for contacts.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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