I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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