Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
