You took a bar mat shot.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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