people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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