i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
