I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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