Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
