Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
