You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
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I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
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Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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