He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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