i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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