Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
