Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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