the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
