I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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