evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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