clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
