I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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