Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
